This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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