yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
