Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
