Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
