I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
