12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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