So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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