Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
