i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
