the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
