Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
