he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Randomize
