so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
