you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
