I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
