Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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