all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
