when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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