it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
