You're so nebulous sometimes
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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