you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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