I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i drank out of a bidet.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
