maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Holy shit dude........stairs
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
