just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
