Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
