I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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