trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
