i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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