When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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