You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
