I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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