alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
