My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
