we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
