So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
