woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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