He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
