You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
