the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
