where am i from again
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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