I need help removing her.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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