I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I love you. Go after that dick
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
