honey bunches of taint.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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