she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
