I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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