And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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