why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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