well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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