dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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