I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize