i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
