i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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