my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
