Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
