so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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